Monday, June 13, 2011

It is so freeing to realize once again, and on a deeper level I think, that I do not have to be overcome by my emotions. It's okay to acknowledge them, because they're real, and they're there. But they're not always right. There's always a greater reality. I may be sad because of a certain situation, but that sadness can lead me to despair or become bitter, which is wrong. But God is greater than my heart. His Word is supreme. And it tells me--He tells me--I am loved. I am never alone. I don't have to be afraid. And that truth is greater than whatever is tempting me to become depressed or to fall into despair, worry, anger, etc. It's so freeing to realize life isn't fair, and that I can learn to be content in any situation. My surroundings don't have to determine how I feel or how I choose to act. I can always have joy because Jesus has redeemed me.

"...'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'" John 8:31-32

"For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!'" Romans 8:15

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

"Look Again and Consecrate"

If you don't have a copy of Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest, I suggest you get one. I bought a copy for very cheap at a CBD Warehouse sale, but I think you can get them for relatively cheap elsewhere. Much of what Chambers has written has brought challenge and encouragement in my personal walk with Jesus Christ. I found today's entry both challenging and encouraging, and wanted to share it here with all of you:

Look Again and Consecrate

"If God so clothes the grass of the field..., will He not much more clothe you...?" (Matthew 6:30).

A simple statement of Jesus is always a puzzle to us because we will not be simple. How can we maintain the simplicity of Jesus so that we may understand Him? By receiving His Spirit, recognizing and relying on Him, and obeying Him as He brings us the truth of His Word, life will become amazingly simple. Jesus asks us to consider that "if God so clothes the grass of the field..." how "much more" will He clothe you, if you keep your relationship right with Him? Every time we lose ground in our fellowship with God, it is because we have disrespectfully thought that we knew better than Jesus Christ. We have allowed "the cares of this world" to enter in (Matthew 13:22), while forgetting the "much more" of our heavenly Father.
"Look at the birds of the air..." (6:26). Their function is to obey the instincts God placed within them, and God watches over them. Jesus said that if you have the right relationship with Him and will obey His Spirit within you, then God will care for your "feathers" too.
"Consider the lilies of the field..." (6:28). They grow where they are planted. Many of us refuse to grow where God plants us. Therefore, we don't take root anywhere. Jesus said if we would obey the life of God within us, He would look after all other things. Did Jesus Christ lie to us? Are we experiencing the "much more" He promised? If we are not, it is because we are not obeying the life God has given us and have cluttered our minds with confusing thoughts and worries. How much time have we wasted asking God senseless questions while we should be absolutely free to concentrate on our service to Him? Consecration is the act of continually separating myself from everything except that which God has appointed me to do. It is not a one-time experience but an ongoing process. Am I continually separating myself and looking to God every day of my life?


Sunday, January 23, 2011

God's Grace

I've been reading Twelve Extraordinary Women by John MacArthur, and reading about Sarah. And, of course, because she was married to Abraham, it talks about him in that chapter as well. And something hit me while I was reading. I was blown away by God's amazing grace, which reflects every facet of His character that is good, and ultimately points to His glory. In showing unmerited grace, He was showing that He was God, and that He had the power to keep His promises, unaffected by the sinful acts of man. MacArthur says, "To this aged man who had managed to father only one son (and that by less than honorable means), God said, 'I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come form you' ([Genesis] 17:6, NKJV)" (page 43). He was, of course, referring to the time before the promised son Isaac was actually born. And though it's a fact that I've known for a very long time, it hit me in a fresh new way today: God's promise to Abraham in no way depended on Abraham. It didn't depend on his faith, his action, his goodness or badness. God didn't threaten to take it away when Abraham lied about Sarah being his wife, or even when he followed his wife's scheme to try and bring about the fulfillment of God's promise by sleeping with her handmaid. It was an unconditional promise. God was faithful even when the recipient of that promise wasn't.

What blows me away is not only God's ability to keep the promise despite human intervention, but His grace in doing so. He didn't tell Abraham, "Forget it; you blew it. I'm finding someone else to be the father of many nations, to be the one through whose line my promised Messiah will eventually be born." It didn't depend on Abraham; it was dependent on God and His character alone.

Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar all faced painful consequences for trying to meddle in God's plan. So I'm not suggesting that you and I can do whatever we want because God's promise to love us no matter what. There will still be consequences to pay for sin, albeit that we will never face the ultimate punishment for such if we are God's children. But what's comforting here is that God is God and He will do what He pleases. He is perfectly capable to carry out His will in His time, even if I try to do the job myself and make a mess of things. It makes me remember that I am awfully small, and God is awfully big. And that's a good thing to remember.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Smoke Detector

Today I found a notebook in my drawer about which I had forgotten. I bought it at Logan Airport last year when I was waiting for Rachael to arrive from Maryland so that I could drive her home. Her flight had been delayed a few hours, and I wanted something to do. So I bought a notebook, and began writing.

I found that notebook today and started reading through it, and felt like sharing something on here that I had written:

June 22, 2009
....There's a ringing noise that sounds like a smoke detector, and it's extremely annoying. And there's nothing I can do about it. It's kind of like the Holy Spirit. You can't ignore a smoke detector. The only way to stop the ringing is to fix the problem. You can turn the ringing off, but it's only going to keep setting off until you get to the root of the problem. You need to find the source of the smoke and stop it. It's a warning that something's burning, and you need to deal with it before it bursts into flames. That's kind of like the Holy Spirit's presence in a believer's life. "And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment" John 16:8. The Holy Spirit prods my heart when there's a problem--when there's sin present, kind of like a smoke detector that won't stop ringing. I can try to ignore it or make a temporary change to silence the ringing for a while, but in reality I need to deal with the root of the problem. That means not just recognizing that I did something wrong and say, "I'm sorry, God. Forgive me. I'll try not to do it again." Because guess what? Most of the time I just turn around and do it again. I have to get to the root of the problem--I have to recognize the heart motivation behind my actions. Wanting to be a responsible person so that someone will see me as such.. or just so that people won't think I'm lazy, is good motivation, but it's not enough--it's not the right motivation. That makes it the opposite, which is wrong--which means it can't even be good, even if it might appear that way. So why is it that when I purpose to change my ways and be responsible...it doesn't happen? ...The truth is...at the core I am selfish, lazy, and self-seeking. I am a creature of comfort, and don't think, a lot of the time, beyond the here and now. I don't think about how my choices will affect me or others in the future, and somehow think I'm exempt from the consequences or that I don't care...What I choose not to think about are the long-term consequences. When I choose to fall asleep downstairs and not get up and turn the TV off, I'm being lazy and selfish. I care more about myself than the fact that leaving the TV on will run up the electricity bill and put financial strain on my parents. However, what lies beneath all of this is ultimately the choice to serve God or self. And most of the time lately, self has won out. I have not been loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I have not been doing all to His glory...God is revealing to me that at the core, this is who I am. And graciously, the Holy Spirit is prodding harder. His voice isn't as easy to ignore this time around...
____________________________________________
I realize this is not a perfect analogy. The Holy Spirit is not some annoying buzzer that goes off in my head, driving me nuts with no relief until the noise ceases. He's so much more than that. He's a person, a spirit (duh), with whom I am to interact. He wants to speak to me and guide me, and change me. And most of the time, His voice is more like a soft whisper than an obnoxious ringing. I just have to be walking close enough to Him to hear that voice. But thankfully, like I did say above, God loves me enough to allow His Spirit to press a little harder sometimes in certain areas when I need it. He is faithful.





Sunday, June 6, 2010

I think I should forewarn you that this will probably be a long entry. So, if you're up for it, go grab yourself a cup of tea or something, come back, and sit tight.

Today we had a tornado warning, and nothing came of it. When I got back from Anders' fundraiser (my friend Anders has epilepsy and had a fundraiser to help pay for the $7500 seizure dog he will be getting), it was about 7:15ish or so, and clouds were moving in. I thought this big storm was on its way, and even though I knew my camera battery was dying, I figured I'd go down to the beach and capture some shots of the waves or something--it sounded pretty adventurous to me. While I was driving down there, I thought, "If I wasn't called to ministry, I think I'd like to be a storm-chaser." Ha.

I got to the beach, and... no storm. At all. No waves. Just a gentle lull of the water slowly sliding up the shore, then receding. I was slightly disappointed. But the sky, it was gorgeous. It took one look, and I was glad I came down. I snapped a few shots, and then my battery called it quits. The sky was so gorgeous that I wished that my battery wasn't dead so I could capture it some more, but then I didn't mind so much. In fact, I was glad. Sometimes, it just seems fitting not to capture something like that. It almost made it more special. And less.. technical. When I'm taking pictures, I want just the right angle. Just the right lighting. Putting the camera down allowed me to just be able to look around and drink it all in. It made me feel as though I were destined for that moment--destined to be at the beach, at that time, when the sky was so beautiful, with my God.
It seemed as though a moment that needed not to be captured. It was captured in my mind (I know that sounds so cheesy)--and it's a memory that I will always cherish. Those times always are--walks on the beach with my God.
So I walked. I walked, and I talked, and I soaked in the beauty. The beauty of my God. I say that--my God--because I can. Because He's my God. But I don't say it lightly or ignore the privilege that it is to be able to call Him my God. And I know that that privilege came at a price--the price of His Son.
At one point, I stopped. I stopped and turned around in a circle. And I realized that no photographer or artist would be able to capture all of that in one photo or painting. Just in that one spot, there was so much to take in that it could not be accurately captured. And that spot is just one miniscule sliver of a beautiful town in a beautiful state in a beautiful country on a beautiful planet in a beautiful galaxy in a beautiful universe. And I thought, how many more masterpieces has God painted right at this moment, and how many of them are unseen by human eyes? And that is my God. I know Him. I felt like Elf in Gimbel's when he found out Santa was coming: "SANTAAAA!! I KNOW HIM!" You know how people are. If they know somebody famous, it's like, wow. But I know God. I know Him. Like Elf knows Santa. And I don't know Him as I should and never will fully know Him, but just the fact that I can know such a vast, amazing God even just a little boggles me. And even more than that, He knows me--better than I know myself. Sometimes I think I know myself so well. I think I know exactly who I am and exactly what I want. But then there are times when I feel like I have no idea who I am or what I want. But God knows. He knew before the foundations of the earth all of the moments and choices and decisions and events of my life. This God, the God of the Universe, knows me. And loves me. He loves me so much that He took extraordinary measures to make relationship with me possible. He killed His Son. He sacrificed fellowship with His beloved, perfect Son, to bring such a worm as I into fellowship with Him. And He pursues me. Not because He has anything new to learn about me, but so that I will be drawn to Him. It baffles me to think that such a God, THE God, desires intimacy with me.
I could go on forever, but I won't. I'm just thankful for tonight. I'm thankful for beautiful, visible reminders of how beautiful and great God is, and what a privilege it is to know and love and serve Him. I'm thankful for how reminders like that inspire me to stop getting tripped up over little things (even though I know I never will completely, because I'm human, but I try), and start living every moment to reflect my love for this Awesome Creator, but more importantly, His love for me and for others.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I would just like all of you to know, whoever you are that read this, that God is so good. I have been reminded in an overwhelming way that God answers prayer and changes hearts. Something happened today than humanly speaking, would not have been possible a few days ago. But today, because of God, it is. He is so good!!!

*Luke 1:37

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

God is so good.
I'm doing a Beth Moore Bible study on the tabernacle called "A Woman's Heart." I just love Beth Moore. :) Today's lesson talked about how Jesus put on sin so we could put on righteousness. In an exchange, He put on sin to make robes of righteousness available to us. Beth talked about "wearing our new self, rather than allowing our robes of righteousness to hang in the closet.." saying that the key to this is "to be made new in the attitude of your minds" (Ephesians 4:23).  She says, "We are new creatures in Christ; but if we still think like the old creature, we will find it impossible to personify the new. Most of our wars are fought on the battlefield of the mind." So true. I could identify with this so much, especially lately. If you read my last post, you can understand why I say that. She also mentions Romans 12:2, which I found especially encouraging today. You also know this if you've seen my latest facebook post. ;)

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Now, this part coming up was what I found especially comforting.) Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Romans 12:2

Over the past week, I had been fighting a battle in my mind. One I thought I was winning, but turns out I wasn't as successful as I thought. It was so tempting for me to conform to the pattern of this world--to buy into such a worldly way of thinking, that I deserved what my heart so longed for. And because certain things were true, that must mean I was meant to get it, according to worldly thinking. I wasn't being transformed by the renewing of my mind. Not truly. I kept giving it over to God, but kept finding myself falling into that same trap of thinking that way. God is so good, though. I can't pinpoint when it was. Maybe it was while talking to my great friend Maya, who is always good for talking some sense into me. ;) But at some point this weekend, it just hit me. What I was longing for so much, it wasn't God's will. It isn't. Not right now, anyway, and probably ever. But I can't think, "Well, maybe, in the future..." because what if that doesn't happen? All I know is that right now, this isn't what God has for me. And that's all I need to know. And I am truly content with that. Because I've come to the point that if it's not what God wants, it's not what I want. I've come to the point where I've been able to test and approve what God's will is--and this isn't it. If what I was wanting so badly happened, I don't believe it would be pleasing to God. I don't believe it would be His perfect will. And knowing that didn't come until I released my desire and chose to renew my mind and think with the mind of Christ. And God honored that. He gave me a peace, the kind that only comes from Him.
Thank You, Heavenly Father. It is such a blessing to be Your child, to call You my Father, to know that You are real and present and care about Your children, and bless their obedience. Your ways are good.